i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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