ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
