I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
