why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
