Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
