Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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