I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
