he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont even know how to be here
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
