I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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