On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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