I want to stick my p in your. b.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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