Soap is not a condiment
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
