i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
