he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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