Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
