all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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