ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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