I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
