She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
