Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
