It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize