I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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