Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
