id be glad to
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
