we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
