i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
