rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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