this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
