your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize