he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize