God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
