Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
