Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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