The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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