In the future we'll all be gay
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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