hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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