Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have demons in me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
