some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize