Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
