I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
