At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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