I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm too high and old for this...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
why is half of my head shaved?
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