when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
