im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize