that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
