clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
