my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
