drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize