So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
