Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
