this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
