38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
