i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
