Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
