imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
