Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize