I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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