I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
