dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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