What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
