The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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