So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
