"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
