I should be sponsored by Trojan
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
