So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
