maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
