I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
