nut hugger
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
