yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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