you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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