don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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