Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
