We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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